The need is real, but the draft is either too heavy or too soft.
For yeshivos & mosdos
For the message you don’t want to get wrong.
A careful second look before an important message goes out.
Send the draft before it goes out. You will get back language you can actually use - with the main point clearer and the risky lines handled. The next step will be easier for the reader to understand.
A rough draft, hand-written memo, voice note, or the situation in your head is enough.
Common situations
When you may want another read
Use this when the message carries a relationship with it - a donor, a parent body, a raiser, or a situation where the wrong wording can create more work later.
The message has to be firm without making parents feel brushed off.
The message needs energy, but not pressure.
One wrong phrase can become the part everyone remembers.
Sample edits
See what changes
A few made-up examples of drafts. Let's make the point clearer and the tone easier to receive - the next step should become easier to understand.
ROUGH DRAFT
We are asking you to participate in our campaign because the need is very great and the future of the mosad depends on it. We are desperately hoping you won't turn us down.
CLEANER VERSION
We are asking you to consider participating in this next stage of the campaign. The need is real, and a small group of donors can help move it forward. We would be grateful if you would consider being one of them.
What changed
- The ask is still direct, but it gives the donor room to consider it.
- The need sounds real without making the donor responsible for the whole future of the mosad.
- The final line now feels respectful instead of desperate.
What you get back
A clearer version of what you are trying to say
You may get a revised draft, or just comments on the lines that need attention. You might get a new opening or a softer way to say the sentence that feels too sharp. And sometimes the message is mostly fine - then the value is knowing what not to change.
What should the reader understand after this message? We help bring that to the front.
We look for wording that may sound too sharp, too soft, too vague, too pushy, or too formal.
For donor and campaign messages, we help make the need, timing, and next step easier to grasp.
You may receive a revised draft, suggested edits, comments, or short language you can drop in.
Sometimes the fix is the opening, other times it is one sentence that sounds colder than you meant. It is possible that the ask is there, but buried.
Process
How it works
Start with the message in front of you. It does not need to be polished before you send it.
A better question
“What are we really trying to accomplish with this message?”
Once that is clear, the writing gets easier and the next step becomes more natural.
1
Send what you have
Rough draft, notes, bullet points, voice note summary, or just the situation.
2
You get back a careful read
The review looks at what the reader may hear, and what needs to be clearer - among other things.
3
You get usable language
A revised version with comments or suggested lines you can place into the message.
4
You keep the final voice
The goal is to make the message clearer while still sounding like you.
Support options
Start with the message in front of you.
You can start with one message, you do not need a full communications plan.
Send one message that needs to go out soon
Send us the rough version. You will get a response based on the scope and urgency. Rush review may be available.
Start here
One Message Review
For the message sitting in your drafts that needs another set of eyes.
You send the draft or notes - you get back usable wording. If something may land wrong, we’ll say so. If the message is basically fine, we won’t overwork it.
Priced by scope
Recommended for growth
Ongoing
Regular Message Support
For mosdos that often have parent letters, donor updates, alumni notes, and community messages coming up.
This is your regular "can you look this over before we send it?" moments.
Monthly $1,200-$1,500
Campaign
Fundraising Message Support
For donor approaches, campaign updates, follow-ups, and messages where the wording affects the next conversation.
The ask should be clear enough for the donor to understand, and natural enough for the raiser to say.
By arrangement
Send the situation
Have a message that needs to go out?
Send the draft, rough notes, or your situation. It does not need to be polished. Share who needs to hear it, what happened, and what the message should accomplish.
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